Martin Gets a Boyfriend

Romeo stopped by randomly one day. Thrilled, Martin ran around cleaning his filthy apartment in order to impress his romantic interest, then chopped up some apples and lettuce to serve up an autumn salad. Romeo and Martin shared a friendly dinner, and then Martin suggested that Romeo might like to spend the night.

Unfortunately for Martin's libido, Romeo was so exhausted that he went to sleep immediately while Martin was showering. They cuddled very cutely till the morning, though.

In the morning, Martin began the day by asking Romeo if he would like to go steady. Romeo agreed, and they are now officially boyfriends. Yay!

Celebration Time!

Romeo is quite clearly a snob, since he seems to spend half of his time staring in the mirror. He was engaged in this activity while Martin made waffles for breakfast.

The post-celebration strut.

After breakfast, Romeo tried to brush his teeth, but managed to break the sink. "Looks like it's time to leave!" he shouted, and ran out of the apartment. Poor Martin.

A Slob's Apartment

Martin is a slob, which means that he hates to clean, and isn't particularly worried when his house is completely filthy. Whenever he eats, he just leaves the dishes to rot on the kitchen table until they emit green clouds of filth and flies. Meanwhile, Martin paints blissfully in his underwear.

In fact, now and then there are so many disgusting dishes on his table that Martin decides that he can't eat in his apartment. Instead, he takes his meal, heads out to the elevator, and goes down to eat at the picnic table outside his building. In his underwear. Oh, Martin!

Oh, gross.

Martin on the Town

Part of Martin's Lifetime Wish is to be a five-star celebrity. To accomplish this goal, he needs to go out and befriend other celebrities, and be noticed for doing things like mastering skills. I make it a point to send him out fairly often.

Martin is a party animal, so he sometimes gets the urge to do things like skinny dip. After bribing his way into the bar at the Brightmore, Martin immediately took off his clothes and leapt in. He wanted Romeo to join him, but Romeo was having no luck with the bouncer.

Martin then made himself all giggly while blowing chocolate-flavored bubbles. It was pretty cool.

Thanks to his high painting skill and a few celebrity friends, Martin is now a Fame Leecher, a 1-star Celebrity!

Martin's First Vacation

Martin loves hot dogs, but in the game you can only make hot dogs if you have a grill. Since Martin's apartment isn't big enough for a grill, he has to get his hot dog fix from the vendor just outside his building. It looks pretty gross, but Martin is always deeply satisfied after wolfing down one of these wieners.

Martin's painting skill has been improving apace; he earned enough money for a marginally better TV! He is starting to make more money from his paintings, although many of them still look like they were drawn by a six-year-old with Crayolas.

In fact, the proceeds from his paintings have been so good, that he was finally able to scrape together enough dough to go to China! He had an opportunity to complete there - he was supposed to deliver a painting to someone - so he sold every painting he could, scrimped and saved and never went out until he had the money necessary for the trip.

Hello, Shang Simla!

When he arrived, Martin realized with a sinking feeling that he had forgotten the painting for the patron! D'oh! He spent half of his first day searching for an easel on which to paint. Surely the general store sold easels, right?

Unfortunately they didn't. Martin, by now thoroughly exhausted, grabbed some egg rolls for lunch and ate them with his adorable little chopsticks.

He spent the rest of the day running from house to house, gaining access, and searching for an easel. When he finally found a house that had one, he discovered that he wasn't permitted to use it. The action wasn't even available. Damn! Looks like this opportunity is a bust.

Determined to enjoy his vacation, Martin went to the adventures board to get something else to do. He ended up with a mission like any other. If you read Sullivan Sims! or Of Chefs and Vampires, you know that all these missions are pretty much the same. Push this, pull that, dig in this hole, open that treasure chest.

(I don't mind telling you that, as far as playability goes, the World Adventures expansion pack is a dead bore. It was fun the first time around but now...eh.)

The only photo-worthy moment of the adventure was when Martin, in a moment of non-action, chose to stand like this:

What's with the roses? Is he thinking about Romeo?

Martin spent his second night in China sleeping in a tent in someone's front yard. The family was none too happy about this development, and came outside to stand around his tent and complain. Martin paid them no mind, but slumbered peacefully on.

Love is in the Air

Martin called Romeo up to talk. They talked for about an hour, and then Martin invited him to come over. Romeo declined the invitation, but Martin was not to be denied. He headed across town to Romeo's swanky-looking apartment building and buzzed up.

Romeo let him in, and I was right! The guy is rich, really rich from the looks of it. Martin was suitably impressed with his surroundings.

Romeo greeted him, dressed like a mafia goon which, with a name like Romeo Rake, he might very well be if there were any mafia in this game. I wonder if he's a distant relative of the Altos.

He and Martin talked for a bit until Martin decided to get down to business. He asked if Romeo had a partner...

Nope!

"Care for a massage?"

After whispering sweet nothings to each other and holding hands for a while, Martin finally got around to kissing him! Romeo is now officially a romantic interest.

Around Bridgeport

The next day, Martin decided to take a painting class to rev up that skill of his and make his paintings worth a little more money. He headed for the subway station near his apartment and hopped on a train.

Subways are the fastest way to get around in Bridgeport. It's actually quite annoying maneuvering around the city, because very few things are on the ground floor, and you always have to wait an irritatingly long time for the elevator. I guess it's realistic, but I'm not crazy about it.

Anyway, the subway deposited Martin outside the school, a dismal, forbidding prison of a building. He headed inside to take his painting class.

Painting Skill Level 2 firmly in hand, Martin headed to City Hall next. There, he registered as a Self-Employed Painter. Sadly, there is no option to scare the pigeons on the steps. What's the fun of living in a city if you can't scare pigeons? Boo.

That night, to celebrate his new status as a painter, Martin headed out. He does not aim low, this one...he bypassed the dive bars and dance clubs and headed straight for the Prosper Room, the most exclusive lounge in town. He did not, however, as a complete nobody, harbor any delusions about being allowed inside on his own merit. He bribed the bouncer with 100 Simoleons.

"You can go in, but don't cause any trouble, or you'll have to answer to my muscles," the bouncer replied. No. Really. He said that.

So Martin strolled in, sat at the bar, and ordered a Spline Reticulator from the pretty mixologist.

Now, this mixologist, talented though she may be, is a clear example of how things can be taken to extremes in this game. The Sims 3 Late Night expansion pack added a slider to the Create-a-Sim. Can you guess what that slider is? I'll give you a hint: it's only available to women.

Still can't guess? Okay, here's a view from the side.

That's right, everyone, female Sims now have the option of changing their breast size. And whoever created many of the female Sims in Bridgeport went a little too crazy with the slider, if you ask me.

Anyway, Martin ordered his drink, and it was made in the usual spectacular fashion.

Mmmm...refreshing!

The Playing Field Narrows

The boys apparently felt no need to give Martin his privacy. So intense was Romeo's desire to stare into the mirror, that he walked in on Martin going to the bathroom. Martin was very embarrassed.

Beau seems a pleasant enough young man, but not interested enough in Martin to really count as one of the options. He just sat and watched TV. Romeo and Vladimir were the ones who seemed intent on insulting each other. They had several little arguments, and always ended up staring warily at each other.

Martin decided it was time for bed and went straight to sleep. Beau left soon after that, apparently respecting Martin's privacy. Vladimir, however, walked into Martin's room and watched him as he slept, clearly dreaming of Romeo. Uh, creeeeeepy.

Still, I hadn't yet eliminated Vladimir from the competition. Maybe he was just so struck by Martin that he couldn't stand to be away from him, right? In contrast, Romeo finally got to make out with the mirror in the bathroom, clearly showing where his passions lie. This is obviously the behavior of a Snob.

But then Vladimir pulled out his keyboard (he takes it everywhere? Must be a Virtuoso) and started playing. I'm not sure how Martin didn't wake up, because I didn't give him the Heavy Sleeper trait, but he snoozed on as Romeo eventually left his mirror and came to listen.

At this point, I'm strongly in favor of Romeo, because even though he likes himself, he has enough sense not to stare at people and then play the keyboard while they sleep.

The boys didn't leave Martin's apartment until the wee hours of the morning.

City Boys

Martin moved to the big city of Bridgeport with dreams of becoming rich and famous. His apartment is not in the best part of town, but he does have a hot dog stand right next door. His favorite food is hot dogs, so he was particularly excited about that little development.

Martin lives on the 17th floor of his building. There is only one other apartment on the floor, but he hasn't met his neighbor yet. It's a decent-sized apartment, considering how little he paid for it - fully furnished, too!

Too bad his elevator appears to hate him.

Not one to dilly-dally, Martin immediately bought two things: a more comfortable bed, and an easel. He needed to get started on that dream of his! He began painting very large paintings, the better to increase his painting skill. He's artistic, so it shouldn't take him too long to max out his skill.

As he was merrily stroking away, someone buzzed his apartment and asked to come up. The someone turned out to be three someones, the welcome wagon come to make Martin feel...well...welcome.

C'mon, now, this is funny. Honestly? Martin hadn't been in the house for a whole Sim hour before he was mobbed by male citizens seeking his attention and friendship - and possibly something more, considering that two of them are vampires.

Here are the competitors for Martin's affections (at the moment, anyway).

Beau Merrick: red hair, chiseled muscles, and strong jaw aside, he is a vampire, and Martin felt hunted throughout the entire visit. I'm not sure which of the vampiric gentlemen was doing the hunting, so I reserve judgement on Beau for now.

Romeo Rake: swarthy and handsome, he has the advantage of dressing very sharply and, I suspect, will turn out to be rich. However, his name makes me giggle.

Vladimir Schlick - another amusing name, but his scary eyebrows and hooked nose put me off a bit. He is quite clearly a vampire as well, so he might also have been responsible for poor Martin's discomfort.

So many choices. How will Martin ever decide?